Tunnock’s caramel wafers. There’s my ruin. Always has been. I admit it. Had my first when seven. What a hit. The wrapper glittered delightfully, the taste was enchanted. I blame my mother. If she hadn’t bought them from the bread van that fateful day I’d not be in the state I am today. Of course I never thought of that when I was seven. Nor eleven. Not even when I was seventeen. I was, a sleek, and though I say it myself (demurely of course), not unattractive youth with no signs of my addiction save a few fetching teenage pimples. In any case it wasn’t really an addiction in these days. Not really. Just an occasional harmless self indulgence. I was in control. I could stop when I wanted. Sure I could.

But the years have changed that.

It’s a craving now. There’s no point in conning myself any more: it’s a habit and it’s hard to kick. All the harder because of it’s availability. The new dealer is worse than the old. Temptress that she is! She keeps the supply on tap. The fourth cupboard on the right from the sink, on top of the box for the deep fat fryer is where it’s stashed. Little glittering packages of death beaming out their seductive signals to the weak-minded and foolish.

I need to stop. A ballooning waistline leaves this in no doubt. But.... I can’t. The memory of melting milk chocolate mingling with chewy caramel is just too... tantalisingly irresistible. Where’s that cupboard?

Cold turkey

• Avoid the first bite. If you don’t start eating Tunnock wafers you’ll have no trouble giving them up. The easiest habits to break are those you never start. I Tim 2:4,22; I John 1:15-17; Prov 1:10
• Know your tastebuds. Many people can take or leave a tunnocks but if for you they are too beguiling don’t touch them at all. Control is harder than denial. Matt 5:19-20; Psalm 51:6
• Stay away from the cupboard. In fact I would say, don’t go near the kitchen. It’s a most effective principle in dealing with tunnock trouble. It’s one that happily has many other desirable spin-offs. Prov 5
• Refuse tunnock thinking. Tunnocks in the thoughts lead to tunnocks in the tummy. If you must think, think of things which are more wholesome like apples and oranges and pears. Sever your tastebuds. Roms 6:19; Phil 4:8; I Cor 9:24-27; Matt 5:29,30; Eph 4:22-24
• Focus on the damage not the delight. Examine your waist in the unforgiving light of day. Measure the cost - if your tape is capable. Jas 1:15; Matt 5:29,30
• Don’t blame the dealer. ... or the cupboard. Blame referral only means you avoid taking responsibility; it’s a means of letting you off the hook. Jas 1:13,14; I John 1:8
• Don’t despair. Tunnock temptations can be conquered. Long term habits are hard to break but by no means impossible. Tunnocks need not triumph. Roms 6:12-14
• Tasting failure. Okay, you’ve raided the cupboard. It’s bad but it’s not the end of the world and it needn’t be the end of your stuggle. Pick yourself up, face the failure and start again. I John 1:9; Psalm 51

Have a beautiful waistline.